Life is full of choices.

I know that this is no huge revelation to anyone. The last year of my life has been full of hard choices – harder choices than I have ever had to make ever. Choices that I know are right, but still hurt me so bad at times I feel like I am breaking into a million pieces.

Many of the choices I have made in the last year have hurt the ones I love the most. When I think of that, I want to crumple down to the floor in tears. I am so sorry and so ashamed.  I have not been the best mother, wife, or friend.

I have a very good friend that tells me that I am brave and strong. I don’t feel that way most of the time. I feel scared and hurt and unsure. I am afraid to disappoint those I love.  I feel awful for the pain I have caused.

Today I live with the consequences of my choices.  Some are good, some are bad.  I don’t really have any regrets other than hurting loved ones – especially my kids.  I have a greater appreciation for my family.

Like I said, this last year has been full of choices and I am sure that there are many more to come.  I would like to think that I would always make the right ones, but that’s probably not likely.

What choices have you had to make lately?